My Experience On Marriage

I was seven when my parents divorced. My mother remarried when I was eight and my father did so when I was nine, which was followed by a number of re-marrying and divorces. The examples I saw of marriage while I was growing up were not ideal.

I met my first husband in bible study when I was 26. He was 16 years older and knew how to play the dating game. I was young and naïve and I quickly fell in love. We married after five weeks of dating and that was when my first marriage tragedy started.

I experienced physical violence very early in my first marriage. I was ashamed of my bruises and often felt like it was my fault. The physical abuse stopped after I was pregnant with my first child. However, the mental abuse continued. I was belittled and forced to follow whatever action my husband deemed right.

As a faithful Christian, I didn’t want to divorce my first husband. I kept hoping that somehow God would help me fix this marriage. During these hard years, I read many books on marriage, attended classes on relationships, conferences, in addition to meeting with therapists and pastors. I learned everything I could about relationships and came to a realization: It is I who should walk away.